God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize