I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize