the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
