it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
