And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
