I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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