it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
