the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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