Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
