OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
