okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
