i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
