We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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