Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize