so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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