I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Randomize
