Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
