Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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