Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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