i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
