I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
