Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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