This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
