I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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