What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
