I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
