i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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