My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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