omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
