we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
