I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
