how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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