FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
