his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
