Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
