GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
