found the other keg... it's in the tree
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
