I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I can't turn off my feet"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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