Your dad touched me again.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
