is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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