I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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