I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dear god my vagina.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
