Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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