Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
