I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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