You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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