her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
