Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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