We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
