I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
